by M. J. Joachim
I honestly think they have my name on speed dial or something. I’ve been summoned to appear every three years and sometimes sooner, since I moved to Junction City more than seventeen years ago.
Superior Court, Federal Court, Local Court for Minor Offenses…
You name it, I’ve been summoned.
Last year, I filled out 30 pages for a Grand Jury summons in downtown Portland. This year, it’s Superior Court in Junction City – no questionnaire attached, thankfully.
I have neighbors who have lived in Oregon their entire lives and never been summoned to appear for jury duty. For whatever reason, they managed to stay off the radar.
No such luck from where I’m sitting. I’ve never been selected to sit on a jury yet, but I’ve dutifully filled out paperwork and spent hours in court buildings waiting to be dismissed more times than I can count. A few times it was a bit easier – I called the phone number to find out no further action was required…very few times, I might add.
Once again, I walked up to the counter today, handed in my paperwork and waited for the process to begin.
“Oh, honey. You’re not being summoned for jury duty this time,” the justice clerk replied. “You’ve been judged by a jury of your peers and are under arrest for jerking with the judicial system and jamming up our computers.”
As they placed my wrists in handcuffs, I knew the jig was up. It hadn’t worked for me in Juneau, Alaska either, which is why I came to Junction City. The time had come to learn some new skills. Clearly, hacking into government computers wasn’t working for me anymore.
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Photo credit: The Jury, John Morgan, PD - US
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